From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.  

GUIDE TO EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

QUALITY OF WORK:

Excellent:      Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
Good:           Must take running start to leap over tall buildings
Average:        Can leap only short building, or medium (no spires)
Fair:           Crashes into buildings when attempting to leap them
Poor:           Cannot recognize building at all; jumps under them

TIMELINESS:

Excellent:      Is faster than a speeding bullet
Good:           Is as fast as a speeding bullet
Average:        Not quite as fast as a speeding bullet
Fair:           Would you believe a slow bullet?
Poor:           Wounds self with bullets

INITIATIVE:

Excellent:      Stronger than a locomotive
Good:           Stronger than a bull elephant
Average:        Stronger than a bull
Fair:           Shoots the bull
Poor:           Smells like a bull

ADAPTABILITY:

Excellent:      Walks on water
Good:           Walks on water in emergencies
Average:        Washes with water
Fair:           Drinks water
Poor:           Passes water in emergencies

COMMUNICATION:

Excellent:      Talks with God
Good:           Talks with angels
Average:        Talks to self
Fair:           Argues with self
Poor:           Looses arguements with self

Now, a systems analyst:

 ...Brushes medium to large buildings aside with his toe...
 ...Catches bullets in his teeth and eats them...
 ...Plays catch with his dog with locomotives...
 ...Freezes water with a glance...
 ...Is God...



                  
	                     From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.